My Happiness

Megan
Christian in the World - Period 6
September 5, 2012

I Desire to Always Be Happy

I am always asked the question, "What makes you happy?" It is such a broad question. There are a lot of things that make me happy. I like excelling, and being the best at things, but I feel like it is human nature to want that. I find myself to be happy when in the presence of my friends, for they allow me to feel myself. Some people I hang out with I feel like I have to put on an act for, like I have to prove myself to them in order to belong, and that doesn't make me happy. But being around people who accept me for who I am, that makes me feel happy, and my friends do that. Notice how I didn't say my family; usually that is on the top of most people's lists, but it's not for me. I can look to my brother for happiness, but that's about it as far as family is concerned. I feel like sometimes I don't even know what happiness is. I am surrounded with happy people and places, but do I really know what happiness is? I think that's why I had such a hard time answering this question. I am not trying to say I am sad and depressed and alone, because that isn't the case at all. I feel as though I have accomplished a lot in this life, and I have so much going for me at this point. I play a varsity sport, starting every game, being team captain, one of the hardest working students, even though my grades don't show for it, I have a good group of friends. but right now I am asking myself the question, does all this make me happy? I guess I never really thought about it before now. I kind of assumed that since I haven't stopped doing it yet, it must make me happy. But what if it doesn't? What if have been wasting my life away striving for good grades, soccer scholarships, and marine biology classes, when in reality I want to be a writer, or a photographer? Whoa, hold on. I know that soccer makes me happy. I know that marine biology makes me happy. I think I like it when it comes easy to me. I like life to be easy. That makes me happy. However, when things get hard or complicated, I get the idea to quit. When school gets too hard, I stop trying so hard, and my grades drop. When we are losing during a soccer game, I get frustrated and want to just give up. Maybe my happiness is easiness. I really don't know anymore. I have gone in so many direction at this point, I should probably stop thinking about it. Oh well.